Everyday Feels, Wedding

Wedding Bells for Real

I’m back from my hiatus.

The time has ticked past the flurry of long, long days. Now, we’ve arrived at a point in time where I’m happy to announce (again) that our wedding is on for next year in 2018. The venue has been booked and the deposits have been made, so God willing, things will go smoothly this time.

Over the course of our engagement, I know we may have gained much more fans as a couple, mostly taking form in distant, non-immediate family members. I have personally received and felt welcoming embraces and smiles of joy from his side of the family whom I’ve not known previously. I’m more than glad that people even as prime as his grandaunts warmly embrace me into their arms, into their families with open hearts. His aunts feel comfortable chatting with me even about the most random of things. Well, not forgetting his cousins, who weren’t all that hard to get along with because it so happens, we were all born and streamed into the same radio frequency. Most importantly, it’s an even greater pleasure to feel that people accept me for who I am, and not who they want me to be.ย Because all my life, the people (or person) closest to me, who was supposed to nurture me and guide me from childhood to adulthood has been trying to change/manipulate every part of me to his preference. He has even tried to sabotage my relationship. I can’t even continue sharing about the things he has done. Let God only hold the bitter and terrible truths for me.

But alas, we both survived hardships and big fat lemons that were tossed our way. We held our fort bravely, and here we are today counting down to our wedding.

Amongst the joyous news here, I know there’s a hint of bitterness lurking behind these strings of words. This is mostly my realising that I don’t need to remain prisoned by the opinions of someone (or people) who don’t have my best interests at heart, who have other deeper concerns that enveloped only their own interests at the expense of others. Even if this other person is a close and immediate family member.

I don’t need more words to point you in the direction of the person I’m referring to. It’s beyond obvious.

In all this bitterness, and bleakness, I know one day the skies will clear its grey and pave a way for blue. We don’t have to be gloomy, just because we don’t get what we want. Or need. Although I’m still bitter over that person cancelling our wedding that was meant to happen July last year, I do feel that there had been so may instances and enlightening reasons for why things were delayed. For the better.ย 

It’s okay that we had to start a new life together almost a year later. But surely, without this extra delayed year, we wouldn’t feel like all the people who knew us, care for us and love us would be completely behind us celebrating our union like its their own. Without this extra time gap, we wouldn’t have won the hearts of the people we thought didn’t really matter. And in this time, we have received more love and support than we ever expected. It warms my heart how people have been showing so much excitement, keen interest and eagerness to attend our wedding next year. It really does.

In all this, life has reminded me yet again that things happen for a reason. There’s a hikmah behind every occurrence that is seemingly pessimistic, or negative. Allah never forgets us.

The past weekend was a glimpse of how joyous and exciting our wedding event would be like next year, with the people we call family so eager to honour our celebration with their presence, prayers and love. That’s all that matters. Blessings are what actually counts towards happiness in our lives.ย 

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Everyday Feels, Wedding

Just A Juicy Update

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As you all would have known, the wedding would be delayed for the same reasons I have stated in a previous post. In this one, I’m highlighting the juicy update of course. For now, I’m not going to explicitly spell it out but I’ll drop some hints.

We’re not getting married yet, or eloping ever. That’s for sure. However, we’re going to have something that’s probably a couple of miles closer to our ultimate milestone, being our halal union. Consider this, half of that but still without the grant of the ‘halal’ status just yet. Although, it does allow us to apply for maybe… a house and such ๐Ÿ™‚

I know most of you (my friends) know that I’m already engaged, just without the official you know traditional celebration or procedure and of course a ring, a proposal etc.

Now, that was the biggest clue already! When the time ticks closer, I’ll reveal the date. It’s sooner than you think! ๐Ÿ™‚

InsyaAllah, do pray for us so that Allah will ease our affairs. Amin.

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Everyday Feels, Wedding

Wonderful News for Starters

Well, as planned and confirmed between H and my dad, he and his parents (with his brother) will be coming over next week on either the 11th or 13th of September to officially agree and discuss on our marriage.

*cue for cries of glee*

I’m so thankful that I managed to tell H to talk his mom out of coming over to “masuk meminang” or “merisik” the old and traditional way of asking for a girl’s hand in marriage. Phew, that was real close. For that, his mom wanted to bring her sister (which we all know isn’t necessary because I’m not marrying his aunt) and didn’t allow him to follow (like what?). So, the reasons he gave were that:

  1. My dad didn’t mention a single thing about the traditional way of asking for a girl’s hand in marriage and he literally said “discussion with his parents” on the venue and date etc. This information is completely true and I did not rake this shit up just to get things my way.
  2. I’m not even Malay to begin with. This means that my parents probably won’t be able to appreciate or see the necessity of having the traditional Malay way as much as his mother did. I don’t blame her. She must be excited too.

I’m honestly just thinking of minute things like what I should wear and what to cook for them (my mom was thinking Italian; tomato-based pasta and super awesome Fassler’s clam chowder soup!).

I think I might have mentioned earlier that H and I have no specific date to get married on because it’s subjected to the availability of our preferred venue. Also, we’re gonna go with whatever our parents are comfortable with unless well they go completely off base. Our priority is to choose a comfortable venue for close family and friends only, in addition to doing without Malay traditions, aiming for a lower wedding cost because well, it’s never good to waste money on weddings especially if you’re not a millionaire and to make our parents happy with whatever collective decisions that would be made.

For now, that’s that!

Goodnight!

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Wedding

Undisclosed.

We’re still in the process of choosing our venue and to be honest, even with a restriction to stick with (Halal-certified food), there are just so many potentially awesome venues to choose from! Heck, we can’t even narrow it down just yet.

It’s really hard to actually accommodate everyone’s preferences in making decisions during wedding planning. Everyone has different tastes and it’s sad that we have to go by votes/popularity. I feel bad because H can’t get his outdoor wedding (for now it seems). Maybe, if it’s his rezeki, we will get an outdoor wedding ๐Ÿ™‚

For now and until after the actual wedding day,ย which we have yet to decide on, I shall not disclose the venue for personal reasons. Well, only those who know will know why or could at least guess why.

And yes, planning for a wedding is so bloody stressful I think about it every single day especially when we don’t have a solid plan yet. I know some people must be criticising our decision to sort of ‘rush’ the wedding but hey, if you don’t understand our decision, then I suggest don’t even bother to try again. Life is short as hell and the world is ending soon, so I suggest all of us to live life to the fullest and seize the day while we can.

Seize the day, or die regretting the time you lost. It’s empty and cold without you here, too many people to rake over.

– Avenged Sevenfold

Sayonara for now!

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Everyday Feels, Wedding

More than just an emotion.

Since overcoming the first jitters, I certainly feel the pressure now easing onto us like the anticipation of a huge tidal wave so huge it can engulf us. I’ve always had the notion that wedding planning on the personal end wasn’t as complicated as people made it seem. It potentially is a straightforward matter provided that you don’t have to consider your parents’ opinions, your future-hubby’s opinions and those of his parents too. I thank God every day that he doesn’t have a nosy aunt that assumes the role of his second mom. Or does he? Oh bite me.

Today, H shared with me how overwhelmed he felt with the expectations that everyone (his mom, me and my mom) has of him. I’m not going to explicitly disclose what that entails exactly but in general, he’s speaking of the wedding planning and the responsibilities to shoulder being my future husband. Everyone starts somewhere and to be honest, he’s far from shabby. It’s just that my parents’ standards are pretty high i suppose if you were to put into context, what with the many misguided young Malay Muslims in Singapore. It’s honestly harder than you think to do a soul search for a man who you can feel so comfortable with that you don’t mind telling him that you’re having diarrhoea or your nose has so much boogers you feel the urge to pick it that instant, someone you can share your hopes, dreams and sorrows with, someone you can trust and lean on to through good, bad and bittersweet times and someone to lead you through the bushes and protect you from the thorns just so you could reach out to the roses and smell them. It’s even almost impossible to find a man who would sacrifice certain aspirations because he takes your future marriage as his priority over other dreams. That’s almost like finding a gem among rocks and stones. H has his flaws too and no, they’re not just a few because he’s human. However, I choose to see beyond his flaws, confront him gently if it upsets me and fight to resolve the matter as quickly as possible so that I could spend more time appreciating his redeeming qualities.

I’ve been with him for over 3 years but I’ve known him for more than twice the time we’re officially together. I watched him grow into a young man from a ruthless secondary 3 kid, change his personality, change his persona and his values. He even changed in his looks, only God knows why he grew so much more handsome than he was before we became a couple :). Maybe, just maybe love is blind. Then again, the honeymoon phase for us is long gone and I’m still very much in love with him even though over these 3 years, change was constant. I still love him for who he is, no matter how much his character fluctuated, I still find him charmingly handsome and adorable and most importantly, even though I don’t display this emotion well, I trust that he will take care of me, take care of us and let me take care of him too through our next phase in life until our last.

This pressure is the good kind of pressure, love. It’s progressive and we shouldn’t be easily knocked down by a strong gust of wind because we’re stronger than that.

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Wedding

My First Wedding Jitters

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I can’t believe I’m getting married next year!!!ย 

It seemed like our wedding was so far away when we dreamed of it earlier this year.ย I shall call my hubby-to-be “H” for ‘Hun’ because well, I call him that and calling him by “I” is just stupidly confusing for all of us. I’m sorry I just can’t be more creative than this at 12.50am.

H and I officially planned for this wedding to happen in 2 to 3 years. (by the way, i promise to try to use very very very simple english with 1 to none bombastic vocabulary like how I always use in my personal blog) Since our parents gave us teir blessings and the green light which signifies “GO”, we decided that there is no logic or point to delay the wedding any longer to attain our ‘Halal’ status as a couple (officially hehe). In sha Allah, it will be somewhere between mid-2016 and end-2016 ๐Ÿ™‚

There’s so much for me to say and share about this topic because clearly, almost every girl has dreamed about this day since well, the day she knew what the heck getting married is all about.

Just to be clear, for future brides-to-be (BTBs), I will use #singaporeweddingfact and #singaporeweddingcost when I post stuff that are strictly non-biased and only informational in that particular post. I promise in such posts, there will be no irritating opinions, variation in fonts, a mixture of languages and rantings jumbled up with the information you really really need.

Also, for posts with completely biased and crazy emotions will be tagged with #bridefeels.

I know I’m feeding all my friends and acquaintances out there who wanna know the juicy updates on how I feel about being wedded to at 21 years old next year and planning for it now at 20 years old all while still studying full-time hehe ๐Ÿ™‚

Stay tuned!

For now, good night to all ๐Ÿ™‚

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