Everyday Feels

Perks of Getting Married: Part 1

I know, i know there’s just too many perks of getting married to list down here. Like my favourite one is being able to see H every single day and wake up to him looking so basi.

But today, I’m sharing one of the few that matters to me and that isn’t a given in every marriage.

FITNESS & HEALTH

Notice my preference for fitness to precede health?

Now, why does this matter? Simple.

  1. As of now it is so hard to gain muscle when you don’t have proper time to do it
  2. Don’t have heavier weights
  3. Parents are so conservative about this but over the years they have relaxed their bums out over this
  4. I can’t have H to train me like when he was working before NS

You might wonder, how does getting married actually solve or even relate to this subject?

  1. I have my trainer/hubby by my side
  2. He supports me and my fitness goals. He unlike many guys, never ever told me that the certain fitness athletes I look up to a lot are too muscular (like Ashley Horner, Chady Dunmore, Erin Stern,  Zuzka and Dana Linn Bailey). In fact, he never stopped me from being however fit/muscular I want to be. When I asked him a hell lot of times about how he thinks abt this fitness athlete, he never said “eew no don’t be like her”. Every time he answered it the way he should if he was really supportive of me, I knew that this guy is made for me.
  3. We will get our own power rack in our own house –> heavier weights. We’ve been dreaming then planning and now much closer to achieving our dream of having a home gym in our own house in the near future.
  4. My parents can stop worrying about me being too muscular that nobody wants to marry me cos hey I’d be married already!
  5. I can workout however much or intense I want to when I’m pregnant cos I have my trusted personal trainer there for me. Well of course, not planning to get pregnant before our 5th anniversary for sure.
  6. I’ll be at the peak of my fitness and health!
  7. Can have healthy food everyday cos we’d prepare it ourselves. God, I’m so sick of Malay food.
  8. Also, I’d finally have someone to train & teach me hand-to-hand combat. Been wanting this for years. To learn not just to defend myself but fight without the need of a male to protect me all the time or save my ass whenever the need comes, all that while having a teacher who knows more than what is just necessary and who I’m super comfortable with. One of the great survival skills that I feel is highly essential. A girl with a pretty face and brains is just a girl with a pretty face and brains. That won’t count at all when survival mode is activated.
  9. I can help my baby gain back his strength and fitness esp now that he his a critical back injury that stopped him from so much physical activities. It’s crazy. I think it’s driving him up the wall and way way over it. HE NEEDS TO RECOVER FROM THE INJURY.
  10. It’s just awesome being fit and knowing that you can do anything. You can run fast, you can lift heavy shit without needing a man to help you, you can break people’s faces, you are healthy, the muscles in your body will protect you if you get into any accidents more than layers of fat ever will, you don’t feel insecure, you just feel good.

So feast your eyes on my favourite fitness athletes! No more alpha males, females we’re going alpha too. Fitness isn’t all about the sex appeal, which is what many fitness instagram accounts are trying to potray.

To the conservative ones who hate looking at excessive skin packed with guns, it’s time for you to leave. Don’t scroll down.

Ashley Horner

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Chady Dunmore

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Jamie Eason (she’s really petite, much like the average Asian girl)

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Erin Stern

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Zuzana Light

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Dana Linn Bailey (so much respect & admiration for her)

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I love Erin Stern’s, Ashley Horner & Chady Dunmore’s SIZE! I feel Zuzana is too lean for my liking now although her muscle definition is INSANE!

I know many girls and guys would prolly be throwing strange looks at Dana cos she’s bigger than so many Asian guys but she’s married and smoking hot. Size doesn’t matter people. It’s what’s inside the heart that does matter 😉

Oh what the hell, let me throw in one of H’s fav boys, Steve Cook. Look at that baby face!

Steve Cook

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Everyday Feels

A Honeymoon Isn’t Just All About Coitis & Making Babies.

I’ve been pondering for a long time for a wonderful destination to have our honeymoon. It must be seriously relaxing, no noisy kids/families around, not during the peak periods, surrounded by nature (either beaches or mountains or whatever that Singapore lacks in) and non-extravagantly expensive. We just need that absolute peace and quiet to soak in each other’s presence with no one else or the typically hectic Singaporean lifestyle to choke us till we’re barely breathing, only to revive us letting us know that each day is like a survival-based arena ready to drown you in a sinkhole. Itinerary-free is our primary goal, with no expectations or plans to visit places of interest unless it’s completely impromptu which also requires both our telepathic cues to spontaneously agree to that. Preferably, we’d like a room with a fantabulous sea view that seats a limitless horizon during sunset. In fact, we’re searching for hotels that have a beautiful room with a jacuzzi and a sea view at the same time. Yes, in other words, we want to laze and daydream in that jacuzzi while enjoying the breathless view of the hopefully very blue ocean.

I must agree that the stereotype that most people have about honeymoons are that they are filled to the brim with loads of sex (okay, i’ll say making love because sex is most usually associated with sleaziness and pre-marital intercourse). Let’s use coitis since Sheldon uses that term, and well who doesn’t find Sheldon adorable? If you don’t know who’s Sheldon and where this fictional character originates from, you’re probably much older than me to be bothered by comically brilliant television shows. Besides, there’s just too many aspects of love to cover and there’s more to discover. It’s not just purely emotional, psychological and verbal. It’s also equally important to express love physically whether through a slight touch of the hand, a big warm hug, a bouquet of flowers, a planned surprise, a peck on the cheek or passionate love-making. Words without actions are merely words, right?

Anyway, honeymoons have always had that stereotype but I honestly feel that just the making babies part is circumstantially ridiculous as an assumption. In my perspective, I’m firstly not getting married and shouldn’t be getting married with a primary goal to make use of my future hubby’s spermatozoa to create another life which I’m sure as hell am unprepared to raise (surprise surprise, an impressive number of women trick their boyfriends to marry them so that they can have cutie pie babies asap!). I’m getting married to be united with my soulmate and my best friend. To much of your dismay, bearing children isn’t the only way or the way to keep the flame alive in a relationship especially if you’re married. I believe in appreciating your other half beyond the purpose of reproduction. There’s more to love than that. There’s also a whole other chapter about building a life together, building a home you call heaven with each other’s hard work, dedication and finding your happiness in one another, in yourself and in life as a whole whilst being able to create beautiful memories and strengthening that strong bonds you already thought were rock hard. I just want to grow old with H because there’s no one else I can visualise being by my side when my hair’s all funky grey and white, my teeth are yellowed and decaying, my skin so papery thin and my knees weak, fragile and my health deteriorating. I trust that he’ll be the man to lead me in my life and ours towards seeking God and building on my foundations for the hereafter, to cook me porridge when I’m ill and voluntarily bed-ridden, to drag me out of bed on the weekends for a bath, to support and train me during our workouts together etc. I want to officially be the person to support him in everything that he does, to hold his hand when he needs a helping hand, to hold him and hug him to sleep when he needs a cuddle after a long day at work, someone he can wake up to and smile at, to be the one he can always count on, to pamper him when he’s down with the flu, to make him so richly fat with baked goods, to achieve fitness goals with and to love him unconditionally. I want to be his someone forever. There’s nothing else I look forward to right now than our union as hubby & wifey. Age isn’t a determinant of how early you settle down, it shouldn’t ever be. It’s a celebration between a (young) man and (young) woman who want nothing more than be in each other’s company for the rest of their lives, through thick and thin, with or without child.

That’s my definition of love.

Besides, we don’t plan on having a child anytime soon especially not when I’m still schooling. I don’t need a child to ensure our blissful marriage. Perhaps, 6-7 years down the road or whenever we’re ready to leap off the cliff to a whole new world where cries of an infant in the wee hours of the morning sound like music in our ears.

Also, I want to have cats with him HAHA.

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Everyday Feels

Wise Eyes

As I speed-walked my way to my destination in the interchange, i was suddenly aware of the people going about their daily lives around me. My eyes felt like they were radars only found in sci-fi movies involving futuristic robots that can profile people within seconds of capturing their physical presence. I noticed the disturbingly outstanding number of elderly at that very interchange in that exact moment at 5.45am. The first question that fizzled, then popped into my mind was, “Why are these elderly wandering/walking in the interchange heading to a pre-planned destination early in the morning?”.

I would say that I was highly sensitive to my surroundings since it was my first experience catching the first bus out of my neighbourhood. I couldn’t help but wallow in sympathy for these elderly who were probably heading to work or to a healthcare institution to seek treatment. Even so, the cycle is vicious seeing as they are still working at that age just so that they can pay their bills, put food on the table and pay for healthcare premiums aside from the medical bills that only pile up as they age. I just can’t fathom the reason that Singapore is condoning the elderly and even those in their late 50s to strive on in their careers and drag their weak bodies and conditioned minds to work just to be a slave to money. I don’t even want to to begin on those elderly who involuntarily work because they have children who are irresponsible and/or do not exercise filial piety. Goodness gracious, I wish that money really would grow on trees or fall from the sky so that I can shower these elderly who do not ever deserve to be up this freaking early to get by each day mentally and physically, while depleting their health gradually with each passing tormenting day of work.

I hate to say this but what is the gahmen really doing to solve our ageing population? It bothers me to the point that at my age, I’m already starting to worry about my parents and other people’s parents. With children these days always aiming higher and further in their education paths, would this really impact the lives of the elderly? The amount of elderly coming in to the radiotherapy centre is just significant and the most depressing part is that the number of younger, expectedly healthier generations are increasingly diagnosed with cancer too.

It’s true. Cancer is the #1 cause of death in Singapore. To walk in to the radiotherapy centre for the past week each day, looking at the same faces and the same patients striving to see the light in their dark tunnels, devoting time, energy, emotion and hopes for a better life to their treatment (radiation therapy) in addition to bearing the immediate and delayed side effects of such treatments has been an eye-opener for me. Whatever that I have observed then felt just struck me deep in that little cavity of mine, as if the pain that these patients have to go through have collectively dug a deep hole in my chest that I wince at their cringes and sharp cries of pain, their hoarse whispers of sorrows and their sunken, fearful eyes. I pray each day that my patients, yes they’re mine too even though I’m just an intern, will see their hopes and their dreams to sustain their lives for much longer would materialise. I wish that those strong-willed patients who come in for treatments and still proceed to the workplace would heal without metastases so that they can pay their medical bills sooner and provide for their families more comfortably with their diseases cured temporarily. I’ve seen the financial bills of both the subsidised and private patients coming in for treatment. The subsidised bills are beyond affordable.

May God protect us all from any harm that may come.

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Everyday Feels, Wedding

Wonderful News for Starters

Well, as planned and confirmed between H and my dad, he and his parents (with his brother) will be coming over next week on either the 11th or 13th of September to officially agree and discuss on our marriage.

*cue for cries of glee*

I’m so thankful that I managed to tell H to talk his mom out of coming over to “masuk meminang” or “merisik” the old and traditional way of asking for a girl’s hand in marriage. Phew, that was real close. For that, his mom wanted to bring her sister (which we all know isn’t necessary because I’m not marrying his aunt) and didn’t allow him to follow (like what?). So, the reasons he gave were that:

  1. My dad didn’t mention a single thing about the traditional way of asking for a girl’s hand in marriage and he literally said “discussion with his parents” on the venue and date etc. This information is completely true and I did not rake this shit up just to get things my way.
  2. I’m not even Malay to begin with. This means that my parents probably won’t be able to appreciate or see the necessity of having the traditional Malay way as much as his mother did. I don’t blame her. She must be excited too.

I’m honestly just thinking of minute things like what I should wear and what to cook for them (my mom was thinking Italian; tomato-based pasta and super awesome Fassler’s clam chowder soup!).

I think I might have mentioned earlier that H and I have no specific date to get married on because it’s subjected to the availability of our preferred venue. Also, we’re gonna go with whatever our parents are comfortable with unless well they go completely off base. Our priority is to choose a comfortable venue for close family and friends only, in addition to doing without Malay traditions, aiming for a lower wedding cost because well, it’s never good to waste money on weddings especially if you’re not a millionaire and to make our parents happy with whatever collective decisions that would be made.

For now, that’s that!

Goodnight!

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