Everyday Feels

Malay-Muslim Thingy + the Hijab

Based on whatever that I have tweeted, I may or may not have potentially offended some of my Twitter followers and even those among my ‘close’ circle of friends. My views on the Malay vs Muslim wedding issue thingy still stands and I’m not sorry for my blatant and outright ways of expressing them.

Also, there isn’t a need to be offended by the truths/facts about your heritage. It’s openly written in hundreds and thousands of pages in books, journals etc about the origins of the Malay culture and traditions. It’s mostly just the sad state of affairs of the Malay-Muslim community because the average Malay-Muslim here sometimes or more often than not, confuse Malay traditions with Islamic ones. Stereotypically, these well-cherished Malay traditions are still practiced to feed the gossip-mongers amongst our parent’s generation and older. Mostly, things like ‘duit hantaran’ and a ‘1000 guest invite list’ are done to preserve the family’s pride and to show that the family isn’t poor because clearly, many of these traditions oft times cause more hassle, discomfort and money. I’m glad that many of the younger generations of Malay-Muslims in Singapore are more aware of the stark differences and the necessity of having them around. Don’t fall into that trap.

I’ve had some people asking/telling me, “Why are you not proud to be a Malay?”. The answer to that is rather simple. I’m not Malay and even if I’m one, I’m not so proud of how the Malay-Muslims here have held up to their traditions without so much of considering the practicality of doing them. I’m just the least proud of where most of the intentions or purposes of carrying these Malay traditions are coming from and how these traditions have been emphasised so much that it actually contradicts/breaks a few Islamic Laws of conserving humbleness and moderation in the little things we do. Sad to say, our Malay-Muslims need to pull their socks up and dive a little deeper into the facts of their religion more than fighting to keep their cultural traditions alive and running in their celebrations. In Islam, even celebrations need to be done with the most humble of intentions because in every single thing we do as Muslims, our intentions are what matters much much more than the actions themselves.

I’m not blogging to preach but I’m merely expressing my concerns with what’s wrong in our society, specifically the Malay-Muslims. Please do everything in moderation. If your intentions are nowhere near ‘riak’ or to show off what you have in that essence, then I respect your ways without a question. I just feel a little disturbed that there are still some fellow Malay-Muslims who remain unaware/ignorant of these fundamental facts.

Then again, there will also be a whole other group of people who may criticise my opinions which pretty strongly point out the importance of prioritising Islamic ways as opposed to cultural means just because I don’t wear the hijab. You can insult or insinuate me for all I care but that matter remains to be between me and my Creator. You may ‘tegur’ (approach with the intention to correct) me or hint at the possibility of me wearing the hijab in future, but what really matters is that your opinions/hints don’t matter at all to me. I refuse to be influenced by such ‘subtle’ hints because then, if I were to succumb to your hints which I’m sure are attempts of persuasion to make me wear the hijab, then my intention/drive to wear the hijab would be a lost cause.

So please don’t waste your breath on encouraging me because the initiation is supposed to come solely from me and Allah, and not from guilt-induced ways or peer-pressure or fear of rejection from the society or people who have expectations of me. If you’re a fellow hijabi and you actually look down on me even just a little teeny tiny bit, then please reflect upon yourself my fellow Muslims.

But, fret not Allah is Merciful.

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Everyday Feels

Uncanny.

Now more than ever, I like to make a conscious effort to meet/say Hi to Fifi whenever I get the chance to see her cos honestly, her resemblance to Taufik is uncanny. They’re the parents of little cutie Ariana (whose only 4 months old)!

Fifi looks so much like him that I sometimes want to look at her just to be reminded of Taufik. He wasn’t usually visible during Hari Raya times and I suppose this makes up for all the lost time I was supposed to see his familiar face.

I’m sorry but they just look so alike, more alike than he and his siblings will ever be. And I’m still silently grieving over his death.

Al-Fatihah.

I feel obligated to take care and overlook Ariana’s welfare especially when all our parents are gone.

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Wedding

Undisclosed.

We’re still in the process of choosing our venue and to be honest, even with a restriction to stick with (Halal-certified food), there are just so many potentially awesome venues to choose from! Heck, we can’t even narrow it down just yet.

It’s really hard to actually accommodate everyone’s preferences in making decisions during wedding planning. Everyone has different tastes and it’s sad that we have to go by votes/popularity. I feel bad because H can’t get his outdoor wedding (for now it seems). Maybe, if it’s his rezeki, we will get an outdoor wedding 🙂

For now and until after the actual wedding day, which we have yet to decide on, I shall not disclose the venue for personal reasons. Well, only those who know will know why or could at least guess why.

And yes, planning for a wedding is so bloody stressful I think about it every single day especially when we don’t have a solid plan yet. I know some people must be criticising our decision to sort of ‘rush’ the wedding but hey, if you don’t understand our decision, then I suggest don’t even bother to try again. Life is short as hell and the world is ending soon, so I suggest all of us to live life to the fullest and seize the day while we can.

Seize the day, or die regretting the time you lost. It’s empty and cold without you here, too many people to rake over.

– Avenged Sevenfold

Sayonara for now!

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Beauty, Everyday Feels

I Hate Body Hair.

Finally shaved my legs after a month of letting my leg hairs hide my smooth, satin skin hahahaha sorry for the self-praise. I mean I stopped shaving so often because well I’m always wearing pants to school and I don’t really have the time/chance to look at my legs long and hard. Unlike the past, I used to wear shorts in secondary school and JC. My soccer days were the days that I shaved every single day because I’m always in sports attire and I hate having to spot a single hair or whatever on my leg/arm while stretching during training or sitting down watching a soccer match.

Yes, I’m vain and I shave every part of my body except for my eyebrows and my upper lip since I was sec 2. Call me whatever you want but I just hate my body hair so much I can’t stand it to the point that I used to bring a tweezer to school to pluck any stray hairs that bothered my eyes.

No, I don’t pluck my eyebrows either. And yes, I shave down there too. Yep, there. Hello, it’s considered as maintaining hygiene and it’s encouraged in Islam to shave your lady parts.

Also for the record, it hurts like balls to pluck your upper lip. You’re better off waxing/threading it. Actually, waxing is hardly painful and threading is a big bitch to your upper lip. I’ve done upper lip threading for at least 7 times already since I tried it early this year (I used to DIY wax it) at either ‘Browhaus’ or that super cheap indian shop at Yew Tee and every single time I get waxed there, I tear up considering that I have a pretty high tolerance for pain.

Underarm waxing is THERAPEUTIC, I swear. I love the part where the lady spreads the warm sugar wax over your arm and then yanks it off. Oooh that sensation is really relaxing. You guys should try it as opposed to shaving because well, shaving just aggravates your delicate underarm skin and causes ingrown hairs (which are really a pain in the ass).

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Everyday Feels, Wedding

More than just an emotion.

Since overcoming the first jitters, I certainly feel the pressure now easing onto us like the anticipation of a huge tidal wave so huge it can engulf us. I’ve always had the notion that wedding planning on the personal end wasn’t as complicated as people made it seem. It potentially is a straightforward matter provided that you don’t have to consider your parents’ opinions, your future-hubby’s opinions and those of his parents too. I thank God every day that he doesn’t have a nosy aunt that assumes the role of his second mom. Or does he? Oh bite me.

Today, H shared with me how overwhelmed he felt with the expectations that everyone (his mom, me and my mom) has of him. I’m not going to explicitly disclose what that entails exactly but in general, he’s speaking of the wedding planning and the responsibilities to shoulder being my future husband. Everyone starts somewhere and to be honest, he’s far from shabby. It’s just that my parents’ standards are pretty high i suppose if you were to put into context, what with the many misguided young Malay Muslims in Singapore. It’s honestly harder than you think to do a soul search for a man who you can feel so comfortable with that you don’t mind telling him that you’re having diarrhoea or your nose has so much boogers you feel the urge to pick it that instant, someone you can share your hopes, dreams and sorrows with, someone you can trust and lean on to through good, bad and bittersweet times and someone to lead you through the bushes and protect you from the thorns just so you could reach out to the roses and smell them. It’s even almost impossible to find a man who would sacrifice certain aspirations because he takes your future marriage as his priority over other dreams. That’s almost like finding a gem among rocks and stones. H has his flaws too and no, they’re not just a few because he’s human. However, I choose to see beyond his flaws, confront him gently if it upsets me and fight to resolve the matter as quickly as possible so that I could spend more time appreciating his redeeming qualities.

I’ve been with him for over 3 years but I’ve known him for more than twice the time we’re officially together. I watched him grow into a young man from a ruthless secondary 3 kid, change his personality, change his persona and his values. He even changed in his looks, only God knows why he grew so much more handsome than he was before we became a couple :). Maybe, just maybe love is blind. Then again, the honeymoon phase for us is long gone and I’m still very much in love with him even though over these 3 years, change was constant. I still love him for who he is, no matter how much his character fluctuated, I still find him charmingly handsome and adorable and most importantly, even though I don’t display this emotion well, I trust that he will take care of me, take care of us and let me take care of him too through our next phase in life until our last.

This pressure is the good kind of pressure, love. It’s progressive and we shouldn’t be easily knocked down by a strong gust of wind because we’re stronger than that.

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Everyday Feels

Smartphone Dilemmas Solved

I’ve been going back and forth between the biggest smartphone brands in the world – Apple and Samsung. My phone recontracts in November and we are finally porting over from SingTel’s 12GB 3G plan to M1’s 4G+ plan because SingTel simply can’t deliver some serious satisfaction to its customers on a personal level. Also, my HTC One M7 which is hardly 2 years old and has gone for a repair in the first few months I got it, is currently experiencing battery lethargy (I made that term up) and extreme app launch inefficiency.

So the final verdict according to the new releases from Samsung (Galaxy Note 5 and Galaxy S6 Edge Plus) and the confirmed rumours regarding the iPhone 6s and iPhone 6s plus would be the

Samsung Galaxy Note 5

Here’s a sleek introduction to my choice of smartphone:

Here’s why I chose the Galaxy Note 5 over the Apple Phones:

p.s. the guy has a seriously attractive voice and drawl

I chose the Galaxy Note 5 over the S6 Edge Plus simply because I prefer the off-screen note-taking using the S-pen as opposed to the beautiful dual image screen display (that is undeniably irresistible). I also had to completely give up the idea of having everything synced to my Macbook because the iPhones lost the battle to the new Samsung phones hands down. Even the upcoming 6s phones are still short of excellent. What a sad state of affairs, Apple. It’s okay, the Macbook is still my choice in the laptop category. There, there, your consolation prize.

(and here comes a cliffhanger, whoops)

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