Based on whatever that I have tweeted, I may or may not have potentially offended some of my Twitter followers and even those among my ‘close’ circle of friends. My views on the Malay vs Muslim wedding issue thingy still stands and I’m not sorry for my blatant and outright ways of expressing them.
Also, there isn’t a need to be offended by the truths/facts about your heritage. It’s openly written in hundreds and thousands of pages in books, journals etc about the origins of the Malay culture and traditions. It’s mostly just the sad state of affairs of the Malay-Muslim community because the average Malay-Muslim here sometimes or more often than not, confuse Malay traditions with Islamic ones. Stereotypically, these well-cherished Malay traditions are still practiced to feed the gossip-mongers amongst our parent’s generation and older. Mostly, things like ‘duit hantaran’ and a ‘1000 guest invite list’ are done to preserve the family’s pride and to show that the family isn’t poor because clearly, many of these traditions oft times cause more hassle, discomfort and money. I’m glad that many of the younger generations of Malay-Muslims in Singapore are more aware of the stark differences and the necessity of having them around. Don’t fall into that trap.
I’ve had some people asking/telling me, “Why are you not proud to be a Malay?”. The answer to that is rather simple. I’m not Malay and even if I’m one, I’m not so proud of how the Malay-Muslims here have held up to their traditions without so much of considering the practicality of doing them. I’m just the least proud of where most of the intentions or purposes of carrying these Malay traditions are coming from and how these traditions have been emphasised so much that it actually contradicts/breaks a few Islamic Laws of conserving humbleness and moderation in the little things we do. Sad to say, our Malay-Muslims need to pull their socks up and dive a little deeper into the facts of their religion more than fighting to keep their cultural traditions alive and running in their celebrations. In Islam, even celebrations need to be done with the most humble of intentions because in every single thing we do as Muslims, our intentions are what matters much much more than the actions themselves.
I’m not blogging to preach but I’m merely expressing my concerns with what’s wrong in our society, specifically the Malay-Muslims. Please do everything in moderation. If your intentions are nowhere near ‘riak’ or to show off what you have in that essence, then I respect your ways without a question. I just feel a little disturbed that there are still some fellow Malay-Muslims who remain unaware/ignorant of these fundamental facts.
Then again, there will also be a whole other group of people who may criticise my opinions which pretty strongly point out the importance of prioritising Islamic ways as opposed to cultural means just because I don’t wear the hijab. You can insult or insinuate me for all I care but that matter remains to be between me and my Creator. You may ‘tegur’ (approach with the intention to correct) me or hint at the possibility of me wearing the hijab in future, but what really matters is that your opinions/hints don’t matter at all to me. I refuse to be influenced by such ‘subtle’ hints because then, if I were to succumb to your hints which I’m sure are attempts of persuasion to make me wear the hijab, then my intention/drive to wear the hijab would be a lost cause.
So please don’t waste your breath on encouraging me because the initiation is supposed to come solely from me and Allah, and not from guilt-induced ways or peer-pressure or fear of rejection from the society or people who have expectations of me. If you’re a fellow hijabi and you actually look down on me even just a little teeny tiny bit, then please reflect upon yourself my fellow Muslims.
But, fret not Allah is Merciful.